Little Miss Mary and the Big Monster Makeover

     Page 5


"I'm so HAPPY Miss Mary I could give you a kiss!"
"While you have halitosis, I'll give that a miss;
There's still so much more that needs to be done.
Don't think this is over. The fun's JUST begun!"

Mary brushed up his teeth until they were white.
She polished his horns so they weren't such a fright.
She curled his eyelashes and buffed every nail.
She fluffed up his wings and she straightened his tail.


His immense monobrow was trimmed and then tweezed,
The spots on his nose were steamed and then squeezed,
She plucked his disgusting, unsightly nose hairs,
She peeled and exfoliated LOTS of skin layers...

With Caviar Granules for Derma-abrasionTM
Which Mommy's been saving for special occasions,
Who swore that the tiny, dried eggs from a Sturgeon
Were better than dating a TOP plastic surgeon.


The results were AMAZING! Not a wrinkle in sight!
The Monster could hardly contain his delight.
He clapped his big hands and he stomped his huge feet,
But Mary's makeover STILL wasn't complete!

She waited for calm and then said: "I suppose,
It's time that we found some suitable clothes.
My Daddy's quite fat, so I'm sure we can find
A suit that would fit your ENORMOUS behind."


They went to the wardrobe and opened the door,
It was haute-couture HEAVEN from ceiling to floor.
There were shoes, there were suits and dresses galore!

The Monster was slack-jawed, his eyes open wide,
He hadn't the SLIGHTEST clue how to decide
Between: Prada, Armani or Gucci, or Boss.
In this maze of designers he was quite at a loss!

But thankfully Little Miss Mary was able
To find her way through the labyrinth of labels.
She scoured the shelves and rummaged through rails,
Convinced that the Monster would look great in tails...


Mary searched for her father's bespoke formal wear,
After all it was Daddy, who made her aware
"That even a MONKEY dressed up in a tux
Had a GOOD chance to look like a million bucks."

She furnished the Monster with J.P. Tod's shoes,
A Ralph Lauren shirt, then proceeded to choose
A STUNNING tuxedo from Louis Vuitton
And with bated breath waited - as he put it on.